May 3

May 3 The Sweet Spot

Scott and I are both hustlers. We play life pretty hard, and that means that life sometimes plays us right back. It doesn't stop us.

Except this time it did. I'm nursing a shoulder injury from a recent dislocation and that means I'm a little sidelined for the time being.

What does a little time off really mean besides some extra rest? Well, it's made me sit back and reflect on my identity. Who am I? An athlete, a career person, something else?

I'm by no means a full-time competitor or athlete. And, while Scott has been fortunate to make SUP his quasi-career, I work a 9 to 5(:30) job. To describe it broadly, I'm a social justice advocate, and it's fulfilling and meaningful for me. But every time I swap my business casuals for a bikini, I have to hustle harder when I hit that water.

I don't make a living exercising or training others to be the best version of themselves. I make a living advocating for the inclusion of the most marginalized individuals in our communities. One isn't better or more important than the other. They're just different.

My injury's caused me to miss two important races in the beginning of this year's mid-Atlantic SUP season. I've lost progress when it feels like my progress is already slow. I've had to sit back and feel part of my identity slip away from me.

In a city like DC, where you're defined by the title on your business card, it can be tough to maintain, or even be aware of, an identity outside of your office. As a DC denizen, I often have competing identities, and thus have frequently competing priorities.

Where's the sweet spot?

With SUP rapidly growing and the field of competitors widening, it can feel like everyone on the water around you is a full-time sponsored athlete. (And because, social media. Social media's the best and the worst.) There's just more and more pressure to perform, and to win.

A few years ago I was a contender at local races. There weren't many that I attended where I wasn't standing on the first, second, or third podium block after a three-mile race.

But some things have changed.

Remember that job I really didn't like [first blog post]? Well, I got a new one. No longer was I able to leave work at 4:00 to run, hit the gym, or get out for a paddle. I traded one passion for another. I sacrificed fulfillment in one area of my life for being happy and well-treated in another. One isn't better or more important than the other. They're just different

And, the sport's grown. More competitors are at the start line and more of those competitors are training. Hard.

This shift has caused me to pause, often, to reflect on why I even care and to also question my own ability. Was I even good at this sport to begin with? The latter is a tough one to admit. [And whether or not that's actually the case, this New York Times op-ed by Karen Rinaldi put things into a refreshing perspective.]

Well, I care because it's important for me to have an identify that exists off of my business card. And I imagine you care, too, if you're sitting behind a keyboard feeling the painful jabs of jealousy when scrolling through your Instagram feed, and if you're searching for fulfillment in your career, your life, your extracurriculars.

I haven't quite found the sweet spot [If you have, please leave it in the comments below.] What I do know is that your priorities... well, one isn't better or more important than the other. They're just different.

But, your identity? That's where you've got to put in a little extra hustle.

xox,

P.S. There is where you can find me this summer while I wait for my shoulder to heal. [#teamfilthyflamingos]